Literary Atheists I to J, Quotes

I don’t care if it rains or freezes,
long as I got my plastic Jesus,
sittin’ on the dashboard of my car;
It makes no difference if we hit a bump,
he’s held on by a suction cup,
sittin’ on the dashboard of my car.
I can even go a hund’rd miles-an-hour,
as long as I’ve got that dee-vine power,
sittin’ on the dashboard of my car.
— Don Imis

Many people think they have religion when they are troubled with dyspepsia.
— Robert G. Ingersoll

Few nations have been so poor as to have but one god. Gods were made so easily, and the raw material cost so little, that generally the god market was fairly glutted and heaven crammed with these phantoms.
— Robert G. Ingersoll

If by any possibility the existence of a power superior to, and independent of, nature shall be demonstrated, there will then be time enough to kneel. Until then, let us stand erect.
— Robert G. Ingersoll

With soap baptism is a good thing.
– Robert G. Ingersoll

Religion supports nobody. It has to be supported. It produces no wheat, no corn; it ploughs no land; it fells no forests. It is a perpetual mendicant. It lives on the labors of others, and then has the arrogance to pretend that it supports the giver.
— Robert G. Ingersoll

An infinite God ought to be able to protect Himself, without going in partnership with State Legislatures.
— Robert G. Ingersoll

Every pulpit is a pillory, in which stands a hired culprit, defending the justice of his own imprisonment.
— Robert G. Ingersoll

If a man would follow, today, the teachings of the Old Testament, he would be a criminal. If he would follow strictly the teachings of the New, he would be insane.
— Robert G. Ingersoll

Suppose, however, that God did give this law to the Jews, and did tell them that whenever a man preached a heresy, or proposed to worship any other God that they should kill him; and suppose that afterward this same God took upon himself flesh, and came to this very chosen people and taught a different religion, and that thereupon the Jews crucified him; I ask you, did he not reap exactly what he had sown? What right would this god have to complain of a crucifixion suffered in accordance with his own command?
— Robert G. Ingersoll

Give the church a place in the Constitution, let her touch once more the sword of power, and the priceless fruit of all ages will turn to ashes on the lips of men.
— Robert G. Ingersoll

For ages, a deadly conflict has been waged between a few brave men and women of thought and genius upon the one side, and the great ignorant religious mass on the other. This is the war between Science and Faith. The few have appealed to reason, to honor, to law, to freedom, to the known, and to happiness here in this world. The many have appealed to prejudice, to fear, to miracle, to slavery, to the unknown, and to misery hereafter. The few have said “Think.” The many have said “Believe!”
— Robert G. Ingersoll

Religion is a monumental chapter in the history of human egotism.
— William James

History, I believe, furnishes no example of a priest-ridden people maintaining a free civil government.
— Thomas Jefferson

Question with boldness even the existence of a God; because, if there be one, he must more approve of the homage of reason, than that of blind-folded fear.
— Thomas Jefferson

Ignorance is preferable to error, and he is less remote from the truth who believes nothing than he who believes what is wrong.
— Thomas Jefferson

Shake off all the fears of servile prejudices, under which weak minds are servilely crouched. Fix reason firmly in her seat, and call on her tribunal for every fact, every opinion. Question with boldness even the existence of a God; because, if there be one, he must more approve of the homage of reason than that of blindfolded fear.
— Thomas Jefferson

What has been the effect of religious coercion? To make half the world fools, and the other half hypocrites.
— Thomas Jefferson

The day will come when the mystical generation of Jesus by the Supreme Being in the womb of a virgin, will be classed with the fable of the generation of Minerva in the brain of Jupiter.
— Thomas Jefferson

One of my favorite fantasies is that next Sunday not one single woman, in any country of the world, will go to church. If women simply stop giving our time and energy to the institutions that oppress, they could cease to be.
— Sonia Johnson

“Bullshit is Bullshit, regardless of the Testament it comes from, and you can take that to the bank.”
— Michael W. Jones

People of faith are kinder to people of different faith than they are to people of no faith.
— Michael W. Jones

Reality is that set of circumstances which feels most concrete at the moment.
— Michael W. Jones


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