SCENE FOUR: “JEPHTHAH: A PROMISE IS A PROMISE”

PREACHER
Judges 11: Now, Jephthah, the Gileadite, was a mighty man of valor–

JEPHTHAH
(A COUNTRY BOY) –Don’t want to brag, but I could toe the mark with the best of ‘em.

PREACHER
And he was the son of an harlot; and Gilead begat Jephthah.

JEPHTHAH
Gilead, my Papa, took one look at Momma and moved her into his house, right alongside his wife and everbuddy.

PREACHER
Gilead’s wife bare him sons, and his wife’s sons grew up, and they thrust out Jephthah, and said unto him “Thou shalt not inherit in our father’s house; for you wert the son of a strange woman.” And Jephthah fled from his brethren,

JEPHTHAH
–I was just a little shaver then, and my half-brothers was full growed.

PREACHER
–and he dwelt in the land of Tob; and there were gathered vain men to Jephthah, and went out with him.

JEPHTHAH
I ran with a pretty rough crowd when I was gettin’ to be a man.

PREACHER
And it came to pass, that the children of Ammon made war against Israel. The elders of Gilead went to fetch Jephthah out of the land of Tob. And they said unto Jephthah, “Come and be our captain, that we may fight with the children of Ammon.”

JEPHTHAH
And what do you think I told them?

PREACHER
Jephthah said unto the elders of Gilead, “Did ye not hate me and expel me out of my father’s house? And why are you come unto me now when ye are in distress?”

JEPHTHAH
These old graybeards cleared their throats, and looked at each other, and looked at their shoes. Finally the oldest geezeer with the longest beard promised me just about anything I wanted if I’d come down and run their army for them.

PREACHER
And Jephthah sent messengers unto the king of the children of Ammon saying, “What hast thou to do with me that thou art come against me to fight in my land?”

JEPHTHAH
But them Ammonites weren’t of a mind to parlay.

PREACHER
And the king of the children of Ammon answered, “Because Israel took away my land when they came up out of Egypt.”

JEPHTHAH
Well, you might say there was a difference of opinion. The Israelites, after four hundred years of working for ol’ Pharaoh, come to the land the Lord had promised them. And here were these Ammonites and Moabites and all manner of people livin’ on the Promised Land. And with the Lord, a promise is a promise.

PREACHER
And Jephthah vowed a vow unto the Lord.

JEPHTHAH
A vow that I will regret to my dying day.

PREACHER
He said, If thou shalt deliver the children of Ammon into mine hands then it shall be that whatsoever cometh forth of the doors of my house to meet me when I return shall surely be the Lord’s, and I will offer it up for a burnt offering.

JEPHTHAH
Well, to shorten the story a little, the Amonites and us had a set-to. We ran them squatters clean out of the country. (NEAR EASTERN MUSIC IN BACKGROUND, PERHAPS A KAZOO) I went home, and guess what come through the door, singing and dancing, flowers in her hair–

PREACHER
His daughter, and she was his only child.

DAUGHTER
(INTONING) Mighty Jephthah, man of valor, hail, all hail!! (SOFTLY) Daddy, Dearest Daddy, welcome to your home.

JEPHTHAH
Thank you, daughter. But darn, I wish you hadn’t of done that!

DAUGHTER
(CRUSHED) Daddy, you always liked my dancing.

JEPHTHAH
I did–I do–but it’s something that–(SOUND OF CLOTH TEARING)

PREACHER
When he saw her, he rent his clothes, and said “Alas, my daughter!”

DAUGHTER
Daddy, what’s wrong? Why are you tearing your garments? Oh, I know. You are mourning those comrades who fell in battle?

JEPHTHAH
No! Yes! Well, sorta.

DAUGHTER
Then what is it?

PREACHER
Thou hast brought me very low, for I have opened my mouth unto the Lord, and I cannot go back.

JEPHTHAH
Daughter, I promised the Lord that whoever or whatever come first through the door of my house, I would offer up as a sacrifice.

DAUGHTER
Oh. . . .And that was me.

JEPHTHAH
‘Fraid so.

DAUGHTER
A burnt sacrifice?

JEPHTHAH
‘Fraid so. (SHE SHUDDERS AND MAKES A SOUND) Daughter, you know how much I love you.

DAUGHTER
And I love you. . . . . Let us suppose for a moment that someone else had come through the door, a man-servant, or a maid-servant–even a dog–

JEPHTHAH
Old Blue? Where is he, by the way?

DAUGHTER
It could have been a sheep, or a goat, or a cow–you’ve got hundreds of kine. Do you think Jehovah was watching to see who came first through the door?

JEPHTHAH
Don’t rightly know that he had his eye fixed on that door. But I’m the one that made the promise. And a promise is a promise.

DAUGHTER
And you can’t go back on your word. (KNEELS, PUTS HER HEAD IN FATHER’S LAP)

JEPHTHAH
Would you want me to? Daughter, the Lord’s been awful good to me. I come from humble beginnings. I was just a raggedy kid with no shoes, a street urchin that growed up on the wrong side of town. And Mama warn’t no better than she had to be.

DAUGHTER
Did Grandma really turn tricks in the marketplace?

JEPHTHAH
That’s what they say. ‘Course, that was before ol’ Gilead took an interest in her.

DAUGHTER
Then Gilead’s sons ran you and Grandma out of the country, and you fell in with that gang of rowdies over in the land of Tob.

JEPHTHAH
That’s where I learned to fight; they called us the Tob Terrors. Yes, the Lord’s been good to me; I cain’t go back on my promise to him.

DAUGHTER
Maybe, when the time comes, the Lord will substitute a sheep or something, like he did when Abraham almost sacrificed Isaac.

JEPHTHAH
Might could happen, but I wouldn’t count on it. Don’t forget that Isaac was a boy, and the Lord’s partial to the male young-uns.

DAUGHTER
I noticed that.

PREACHER
And she said unto him, my father, thou has opened thy mouth unto the Lord-–

DAUGHTER
–Thy big mouth. (RISES)

PREACHER
–So do to me according to that which hath proceeded out of thy mouth.

JEPHTHAH
My big mouth.

DAUGHTER
But can you give me a little time to get used to the idea? A few minutes ago, I was the happiest girl on earth, and now. . . .

PREACHER
And she said unto her Father, “Let me alone for two months, that I may bewail my virginity, me and my fellows.”

JEPHTHAH
(PUZZLED) Bewail your virginity? How are you going to do that?

DAUGHTER
I don’t rightly know. Me and the girls, we’ll figure out something.

PREACHER
Ane he said go, and he sent her away for two months. And she went with her companions and bewailed her virginity upon the mountains.

JEPHTHAH
(CALLING AFTER HER) Let me know if you need anything.

PREACHER
And it came to pass that at the end of two months she returned to her father who did with her according to his vow which he had vowed, and she knew no man.

JEPHTHAH
Daughter, you know this hurts me as much as it does you.

DAUGHTER
Sure, Dad, sure.
JEPHTHAH PANTOMIMES BLOW TO THE NECK. DAUGHTER TURNS HEAD AT AN ODD ANGLE AS THE ‘CHUNK” OF A BLADE HITTING WOOD IS HEARD)

PREACHER
And it was a custom in Israel that the daughters of Israel went yearly to lament the daughter of Jephthah the Gileadite four days in a year.

SLOW GLISSANDO OF MINOR CHORD

Cliff Ashby – Copyright 2004

(Note: If you would like to use this script, presented in six scenes, please leave a note for author Cliff Ashby at The Eloquent Atheist, in care of the editors. The script is copyrighted, and presented with permission of the author at The Eloquent Atheist)